30 Things #12: Share Jesus with someone who doesn't know him

"What's the point of praying? How do I spend time with God? I knew I should ask you--I just knew you would know these things."

A client said this to me about 6 weeks ago in the midst of a week full of spiritual questions among many of my sessions and it was then I began to realize that this bucket list item is being fulfilled in a way I did not expect. 

At the risk of this item being self explanatory, let me give you a little background about why I made this an actual bucket list thing...

I have often wrestled through the dilemma of working in a profession in which I cannot directly share my faith with the people I am helping. People can think that a counselor is just another person to "give advice" in your life and that could mean directly telling you what to do or possibly what kinds of beliefs are the "best" to have to be healthy. Because of this, I often get statements from Christians that are something like "wow, what a great ministry, it's great that you can share your faith with people that way" or "it's wonderful you can point people to God when they are struggling, right?"

While this may be true for those who go to an explicitly Christian counselor OR someone who is directly affiliated with a church, as a state licensed professional counselor, I have learned that it is an altogether different role to be that of a listener and support as I journey with clients of all different walks of life. This means that I and my clients often hold very different value systems and our world views, if discussed openly, would likely conflict. Yet, I have the honor of maintaining a role in which I hold up a metaphorical mirror to clients, to be objective about what I may observe and challenge the client to ask questions of themselves and their own belief systems. I ask questions like "what role does faith have in that struggle?" or if the client is open to talking about faith, "Where is God in all this for you?" 

Thus, so far I have worked with Christians, Mormons, Wickens, Universalists, Atheists, Buddhists, Agnostics,  Jehovah's Witnesses, and the list goes on, not to mention those who are "just not sure" or "don't have much of a faith but believe in God."

I'd say most people who have a relationship with Jesus and claim him as their Savior and Lord will see work as an outlet of sharing this hope with others. For me, I am conflicted because I must love and show the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, kindness...) without actually getting to introduce the HOPE that IS Jesus to people who are REALLY hurting. Of course if a client wants to discuss issues of faith or the gospel, we can do so, but it is different than sharing on a personal level from my own experience as I might do with a friend. Does that make sense?

In praying about how I can be a light in some really dark stories, I have learned that by being a space where people can just be real (even about their questions around God) that this can be one of the most Christ-like things I can do. God is ok with questions and uncertainty. 

Many people have actually experienced quite a bit of hurt, wounding, and even trauma at the hands of so-called Christians. They have confused God or who Jesus is with the broken behavior of his followers. It is terribly sad and requires empathy and validation of those experiences for any healing to occur.

However, over the past several months, I have realized that my job actually DOES provide me with opportunities to share Jesus with people who don't know him. I may not be sharing the gospel for the first time. I am, however, walking with people as they discover who Jesus really is. What he is really like. Many of my clients seem to think they know him and what he's like, but the truth is, if they really knew him, they wouldn't run from him in their fear and shame.

It is a pesky problem that we tend to internalize attributes about our parents or families or hurtful friends and then project those human broken attributes onto God. We might think he is disappointed with our weaknesses or failings. He must be angry when we don't measure up. I have found that I frequently, though gently, introduce new possibilities such as...

What if Jesus is actually kind? 

What if Jesus shares in your grief?

What if Jesus is not chronically disappointed in you, but more concerned with the desire to connect with you and mend your heart?

What if Jesus is not expecting your perfection...we can know that because he CAME to BE your perfection for you...?

What if all of the pain you speak of is actually the very reason Jesus came? What if redemption and freedom from this load and wholeness is the POINT? That it is the heart of the gospel? 
What if there is someone who DOES love you unconditionally, who has truly known and understood deeper than anyone and wants to give you a meaning, identity, and purpose beyond what this world can give?

I am not overtly preaching the gospel. I am only asking questions and asking clients to measure what they believe and know up against what they have been taught, what they have internalized from family messages, and what their churches might say versus what they know the Bible to say. I challenge people to seek God for themselves and not just take things at face value, just like I would challenge them to understand their own emotions and not let others tell them how to think or feel.

I think there was a solid week a month or two ago when I felt like I had a number of clients ask some deep and important questions about faith and God and Jesus which made me realize...the way I share my faith with others might look different, but at least in this context, he IS using me. 

When that sweet client asked me these questions I shared at the beginning, I felt the Lord's pleasure as I realized he is giving me opportunities and I have only to point people back to him. So for now, this is how I have been able to "check off #12" but I hope that this is something I get to participate in for the rest of my life. I hope I get to be more overt in other contexts of my life too, but for today, I am encouraged by these steps!